I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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