Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize