We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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