I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize