PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize