Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize