once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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