I cannot find my penis.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize