Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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