Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize