this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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