Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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