her vagine was all disorganized.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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