:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
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Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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