Kiss
Puke
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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