Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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