have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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