All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize