well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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