Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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