did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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