let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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