1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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