my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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