not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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