Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize