Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize