So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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