Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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