This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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