One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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