I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He kissed a someone with a penis
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize