I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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