So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she smelled like a LAN party
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize