Im at strip club and am horny
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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