No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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