So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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