Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize