all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize