I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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