I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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