lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize