i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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