My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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