i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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