This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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