guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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