My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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