he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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