Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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